Is Marriage Slowly Becoming a Non Factor?
By: K. Denise Richardson
As I am getting older, nearing the “marrying age” in life, my mind can’t help but drift to starting a family. And by family, I mean “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage.” Yes, I may walk down the street and see an adorable pink and green diaper bag or a beautiful baby with an infectious laugh and feel a little tug at my uterus. BUT, as I think about that rent I have to pay and my ringless finger, I snap back to reality and continue on my merry way. While I do believe that babies are God’s gift to the world, that’s one gift I can hold off on for a minute. I want to be able to provide my children with a loving 2 parent happy home without having to worry about financial burdens.
It seems that the younger generations of today think that having babies is cool. It’s slowly becoming a normal topic of conversation. Hey, we all know stuff happens but when you are taking no precautions or are aiming to have a baby out of wedlock what are your reasonings? Marriage may not be for everyone. That’s your prerogative. Maybe you haven’t found the right one and your eggs are slowly drying up. (Halle Berry) Ok! Maybe you are not in a heterosexual relationship but want a baby. (Melissa Ethridge) Ok! But if you are having a baby by a man in hopes that he’ll stay with you, that he will leave his wife for you, or that you will be taken care of monetarily for the next 18 years… PLEASE STOP THE MADNESS! There is nothing more sorry than a woman using the gift of life to capitalize on a man for her own personal gain. That is the epitome of selfishness and her uterus should be returned to God.
I’m seeing less and less proposals being made, yet more and more babies popping up. Yes, if 5 people get engaged, it seems like OMG Everyone is getting married. But in reality, there are 10 others having babies. I’m just not cool with this. I watch MTV’s 16 and Pregnant quite often and can’t help but to think how ridiculous these girls sound. I’ve seen MAYBE 2 where the baby’s father hasn’t dipped out. These young mothers say, “Well he didn’t have to stay but he did because he loves me.” Ummmmm since when did a man taking care of his child become a bonus!?? That is to be expected and should be the norm, not an outlier. Someone via Twitter told me yesterday that “Just because a guy is your Prince Charming does not mean you are his Cinderella. Until you have the glass slipper, you are just another girl.” Deep right?! Who knew childhood nursery rhymes and Disney movies could teach powerful lessons about life.
I guess my main issue is there are so many talented, gifted, and intelligent women who get sucked into this whirlwind of emotion and use babies as an escape or a method of entrapment. Do better! If we as women would just have the self-esteem to know our worth, we would wait for a guy who loves us unconditionally and could respect us enough to PUT A RING ON IT! Making a guy recognize your worth does not include you lying on your back nor does it have to include you yelling every chance you get about being I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T. So before you are caught up with a new bundle of joy without the love and the marriage, have a real conversation with yourself in the mirror and get YOUR life together.
**hopping off my soapbox**